Name the greatest of all the inventors. Accidents.
- Mark Twain

Necessity is the mother of "taking chances".
- Mark Twain

Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.
- Mark Twain

No one can learn all there is to know. The subject is just too big. Besides that, it changes every day. (on being a river boat pilot on the Mississippi)
- Mark Twain

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.
- Mark Twain

None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favor at the same time. There are many asses.
- Mark Twain

Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
- Mark Twain

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
- Mark Twain

Of the commandments, only a single one of the 10 has found ministerial obedience; multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner and saint, scholar and ignoramus, Christian and savage are alike loyal.
- Mark Twain

Oh Death, where is thy sting? It has none. But life has.
- Mark Twain