On the whole, it is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
- Mark Twain

Once you put it down, you simply can't pick it up. (Of a much praised book by Henry James)
- Mark Twain

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
- Mark Twain

Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.
- Mark Twain

Our best built certainties are but sand-houses and subject to damage from any wind of doubt that blows.
- Mark Twain

Our Bible reveals to us the character of our god with minute and remorseless exactness . . . It is perhaps the most damnatory biography that exists in print anywhere. It makes Nero an angel of light and leading by contrast.
- Mark Twain

Richard Wagner: A composer whose music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain

Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.
- Mark Twain

Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million.
- Mark Twain

So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: "Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor's religion is." Not merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law to its code.
- Mark Twain