A man's first duty is to his own conscience and honor; the party and country come second to that, and never first.
- Mark Twain

A policeman in plain clothes is a man; in his uniform he is ten. Clothes and title are the most potent thing, the most formidable influence, in the earth. They move the human race to willing and spontaneous respect for the judge, the general, the admiral, the bishop, the ambassador, the frivolous earl, the idiot duke, the sultan, the king, the emperor. No great title is efficient without clothes to support it.
- Mark Twain

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
- Mark Twain

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.
- Mark Twain

Adam and Eve had many advantages but the principal one was, that they escaped teething.
- Mark Twain

All crimes should be punished with humiliations - public exposure in ridiculous and grotesque situations - and never in any other way. Death makes a hero of the villain, and he is envied by some spectators and imitators.
- Mark Twain

All democrats are insane, but not one of them knows it; none but the republicans and mugwumps know it. All the republicans are insane, but only the democrats and mugwumps can perceive it. The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
- Mark Twain

All say, how hard it is that we have to die - a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.
- Mark Twain

All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge.
- Mark Twain

All things change except barbers, the ways of barbers, and the surroundings of barbers. These never change.
- Mark Twain